A lot on my mind

Well, I started off the year very hopeful that things would go better than they had been.  I was optimistic about my goals and excited about the future. Now? Not so much.

A lot has gone on in the last seven months, most of which I will not give a whole lot of details about for now. I've realized a few things that I already knew just never wanted to really accept.  That realization has lead to lower stress levels but it's created a void.  It's not a void I'm a stranger to but it is definitely not one I am a fan of. It's also not really where I was hoping things would have ended up but life doesn't always work out the way we want it to.  However, coming to terms with the situation has dramatically decreased my stress level.  This particular stress is not completely removed from my life, and I won't expect that it will be.  At least not for awhile. 

While I've decreased the amount of stress in my personal life, my professional life seems to have increased the amount of stress I have to deal with.  The truck has been giving me a rash of problems lately and is costing me a significant amount to keep on the road.  I've come very close to just throwing in the towel and giving up on the business a couple times, some of which were compounded by my personal life.  I'm glad I didn't make any rash emotional decisions during those moments.  I've been doing everything I know to make it work, and I'm confident I can.  It's just overly frustrating and tiresome.  I am trying to work out a solution, that I'm hoping will resolve a lot of them but carries a decent amount of risk that it'll either remain the same or increase the problem.  I think if this possible avenue does not work, it may be time to at least temporarily throw the towel in and give it a go at a later time.

I have been thinking a lot about some of the aspirations I've had over the last 6-10 years lately. I've mainly been focusing on one of them in particular. It'll require some motivation and dedication on my part, which I've been seriously lacking in lately, but I think it would definitely  pay off in the long run.  For starters, it'd have me at home nightly.  I have to make a few phone calls and do a bit of research on a few things, once I've got the info I need, I'll share with you the details on it. 

Well, I know this was all very vague, mainly because I just do not want to get into a large amount of detail about anything at the moment, but I'm going to head off to bed.  The most important thing about all of this is I'm learning from every situation and I'm still trying.  I'm very determined and persistent when I chose to be. I think it is the only reason I've made it this far, despite the chips being stacked against me and things just never wanting to go the way I need them to.  

First Two Goals of the Year

Well, I said I was going to start making some goals.  It's been a hectic past few weeks so I've been busy trying to get things straightened out and get some time to sit down and think things through.  That's been both a good and a negative process for me but I think things will get better, or at least easier, over time.

I promised I'd start writing some goals down, so I'm going to post a few of them now.  These are mostly business/career related goals but they will also help achieve my personal goals.

As I said mentioned before I'm working on goals using S.M.A.R.T. goals.  So my format as I post these will be the same.  For those who are not familiar with the term it means the following

Specific
Measurable
Attainable
Realistic
Timely

My first goal for the year is to improve my profit-margin by 10% in the first half of the year versus my year-end margin for last year. Basically, by the start of the third quarter I'd like to see my YTD profit-margin be at least 10% higher than it was last year.  I'd like to keep that improvement for the entire year but I do not want to wait until the end of the year to measure this goal.

My second goal for the year is to have 20 less days to claim on my taxes for per diem.  Last year I claimed 302 days gone.  Each full day that I was not at the house counts as one full day and each day where I either came home or left the house counts as three-quarters of a day on my taxes.

The second goal is significantly easier to achieve than the first one.  The hard part about that goal is that it impacts my ability to make money, including reaching my first goal.  I've set them both high enough that they will be difficult to achieve but low enough that they're realistic, if I put in the hard work to do so.

Ideally, I'd like to accomplish them both.  If I kept my revenue at the same level as it was last year but increased my profit 10% I'd have an extra $4656.47 for the year.  While that'd be nice, I'm more concerned with the amount of time I can spend with the kids.  My home-time goal is basically an extra two days at home each month.  To some, that doesn't sound like a whole lot, but to someone who is gone 300+ days a year, that's a tremendous amount of time home.  You'd be really surprised what you can do in those two extra days.

These are the two most important goals to me for this year.  I might modify them a little as I get used to doing this whole goal-setting thing.  I'll probably start measuring my home-time down to the month but that needs to wait until I can actually get to taking home-time off and right now I'm having to play catch up from the holidays.

Well, I need to get to bed so I can get up early enough tomorrow to get this load delivered and get over to my next pick-up.

Goodnight!

Being your own boss during the holidays is awesome

Well, since I run my own company I pretty much get to tell myself when to go to work and when to take some time off.  Well, I've made the executive decision to stay home until after the first of the year. It's been awhile since I've taken this much time off so it'll be nice.

The kids Christmas has been pretty good so far.  Lil Man liked all his and he's at his grandmother's house.  He usually goes over there on Christmas Eve but she's a manager at an area Wal-Mart and they had them working.  Seems apparently they're not the only evil empire corporation either, because McDonald's are open today too.  They even forced their franchises to stay open.  Who the hell wants a Big Mac on Christmas?  I don't.  Seems to me, as a business owner, to be a waste of a day and the overhead for the day will far exceed the revenue.  Maybe I'm wrong but I doubt they'll make enough profit to have made it worth it to be open today. 

Well, the kids are starting to get worked up again, they were taking a small catnap but it's back to the toys they go, so I'm going to get off here.  

I haven't forgotten my last post about goals and what not, just been very busy with the holidays and really only planned on starting that after they were over.  Keep an eye out for them soon.

Merry Christmas and hope everyone has a Happy New Years!!

The End of the Year and the New Year

Well the end of the year is very fast approaching.  I've been doing a lot to prepare for next year like getting my business bookkeeping complete and ready so that Jan 1 I can print off my Schedule C information and send it over to my tax man.  I've also been doing a lot of thinking about what I'd like to change for next year both in the business and my personal life. It's kept me pretty occupied trying to prioritize everything and at some point I need to sit down and write it all out.

I picked up a free copy of an audio book called "People Are Idiots and I Can Prove It" by Larry Winget.  He does a lot of "self-improvement" books and his titles are pretty catchy.  Some of his other titles include; "You're Broke Because You Wanna Be", "It's Called Work for a Reason!: Your Success is Your Own Damn Fault", "Shut Up, Stop Whining, and Get a Life: A Kick-Butt Approach to a Better Life" and "Your Kids Are Your Own Fault: A Guide For Raising Responsible, Productive Adults."  As the title's may suggest, he's got a rather "tough-love" approach to self-help.  I like the style, because it fits my personality and I've found myself laughing at several of his comments in the current book I'm reading.  

So far, the book is great.  It has maybe a chapter about why people are idiots, but it's very concise.  The rest of the book is some discussion on why or how you should improve things you feel you need to improve and lists that you should make to help you figure them out and or actions you need to take to do so.  The areas of life that he covers encompasses all aspects; relationships, work, money, happiness, health, etc. It's definitely got me thinking about a lot of things but I've not gotten around to writing down my lists.  Mainly because I listen to the book while I'm driving and that's not a very safe time to be lost in thought nor writing down lists.  So, my plan is to listen through the entire book, think about it as I can while I'm driving and then when I'm sitting still go back through and complete the exercises he gives you.  While I know that's procrastinating, which I've identified as one of my problems I'd like to fix to become more successful, I think it's a fair compromise considering my profession.  I could dedicate some time each night to doing it, however I spend a good portion of my time before bed either talking to Paula about the day and checking on the kids, planning my next few loads or doing something with the business.  I'm sure I could find a time while I'm stopped each night to do the lists but that time is reserved for my relaxation, not detailed self-analysis. 

One of the things I have identified I need to start doing and I've told myself a hundred times I need to do, is start writing my goals down.  I listen to a radio program on SiriusXM's trucking channel that covers how to become a better owner-operator and whatever other topics the callers decide to talk about (the host takes questions from callers on any topic and he gives them his advice. Mostly on trucking but politics and money come up from time to time.)  That's actually where I heard about Larry and the audiobook via cellphone app concept (I'll explain that at the end).  One of the things Kevin Rutherford, the host of the show, always talks about is setting goals and how to accomplish them.  The number one thing he says on the topic is to write them down, keep them where you can see them on a daily basis and to write them down every day.  The later of the two seems a bit extreme to me but I do have a very big windshield and once I get off my arse I'm going to write down my goals, prioritize them and put the top three goals on my windshield off to the side so I see them 10 hours a day.  I'll put one short-term, one long-term and one never-ending or daily goal on there.  

If I was to write a few of them down right now they'd probably include the following (not prioritized);

1. Become debt-free
2. Be able to spend more time at home with my kids (requires Goal 1 to be complete)
3. Expand my business to a small fleet of 3-5 trucks (5 year goal, requires Goal 1 to be complete and will help with Goal 2)
4. Improve some of my relationships in my life
5. Find time for a hobby
6. Learn more about the mechanics of my truck and how to fix them
7. Read/Listen to at least 5 non-fiction books next year. One on each area of my life each goal would fit into
8. Increase next years revenue for the business (which this year I've surpassed last years)
9. Increase profits for next year (I've also done that this year)
10. Take a trip to FL with the kids, most likely around Christmas, so my family and friends can meet my kids.

I'm going to stop at those ten for now, but I'm sure I could go on and on if I wanted to dedicate some time to it, which I need to be getting to bed soon.  Kevin talks about S.M.A.R.T. goals.  S.M.A.R.T. is an acronym for Smart, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic and Timely.  A few of the ten goals are specific and I'm sure I could complete the rest of the acronym for them now if I wanted but like I said, it's getting close to bedtime. I could definitely make a few of those much more specific which I plan on sitting down to do soon.  

My dad, a long time ago, decided he wasn't going to create "New Year's Resolutions" and I adopted that idea in high school.  Part of his reasoning, as he explained it to me, was that almost all resolutions are never kept.  Technically, a resolution is a goal that people would like to complete during new year.  The top reason people do not accomplish their goals, as Kevin has said, is because they do not write them down nor are they S.M.A.R.T.  After about three months of Kevin talking about goals off and on and now listening to Larry's book (he mentions writing the goals down in his book, which includes exercises doing exactly that) I think I'm going to do this for the new year.  I'd like to have this goal of setting S.M.A.R.T. goals completed by the end of Jan.  This will allow me to get through the holidays and get most of my tax stuff completed to tie up this year before taking on the gigantic task of improving myself next year. 

I know some of my changes for next year that I've thought about are going to be extremely difficult to make or adjust to.  A few depend on reactions from other people as to what I ultimately decide.  All I know, is I'm not where I'd like to be in my life and the current system of just "winging it" is not working for me.  Like Kevin says often, "If you want different results you need to do things differently."  I'm too often stressed out because of my finances, running into situations where I wish I knew more about a certain topic and generally just not happy with the state of my life.  When I think back on what I've accomplished and where I'm at in life it always ends with disappointment in myself.  There are a few things I wouldn't change at all that I feel I've done right.  My kids being the most important of those and the fact that I've been in business for myself for two years come mid-Jan.  However, I've lost and or sacrificed a lot to accomplish those two things.  They're sacrifices and losses that I don't necessarily feel should have happened to get where I am and are part of the reason I'm not completely satisfied with where my life is.  

I'd hoped six years ago when I first started trucking that by now I'd have had my own small fleet, living in my own house with no debt and being able to enjoy my life more so than I do now and that is definitely not where I'm at. 

One of  my steps to help keep me on track is to blog my progress and or failures.  I'm going to start with the next few blogs being my S.M.A.R.T. goals and the exercises from Larry's book.  My hope is, that the few friends and family that read this blog will help keep me accountable for them.  Yes I know, I need to be have personal accountability but to be successful in any aspect of life you need support. Kevin said today on his show that a true friend is hard on you.  They tell you when you're screwing up because they know you're potential and can see when you're not living up to it.  I'm trusting that I have a few of those that read my blog.

Well, it's probably past my bedtime so I need to get off here but before I do, I said I'd tell you about the audiobook and cell phone app deal. Audible.com is Amazon.com's audio book site.  They have an app for mobile devices and I believe for the computer, just like the Kindle apps.  It's conveniently called Audible.  What's great about this app is you can listen to the book on the computer, your phone or your tablet devices.  It syncs your progress in the book and they've got a technology called Whisper Sync.  Whisper Sync allows you to purchase the book for your Kindle (or Kindle Apps) and for an extra fee (not sure exactly how much) it syncs both the book and the audio book to the same page.  So, if you're relaxing on the couch reading your Kindle and you need to get some housework done or go somewhere like the grocery store or work or wherever, you can fire up Audible and it will start reading the book too you. This technology pretty much eliminates anyone's reason for not reading books and growing.  Another great thing about Audible is they're running a deal, not sure for how long though, that if you sign up for their 30-day trial of their Gold membership, you get one free credit and you don't pay the monthly fee until after the 30-day trial is complete.  Just about every book on Audible's site is 1 credit.  That's how I managed to get Larry's book for free.  If you want you can cancel the trial before the 30 days is up and you pay nothing.  I'm going to try to keep the membership active because it's only $14.95 and most of the books I've looked up that I'd like to get are anywhere from $18-$25 or 1 credit. So I'll be getting the books for $14.95.  I can probably also claim this on my taxes as most, if not all, of my books will be on improving my business.  If you're really into books or can't wait till you get a new credit for your next book, the gold membership gives you a 30% discount on the books.  They have a few other levels of membership, including one that gives you 12 credits a year (which you pay the membership fee yearly.)  Depending on how my taxes turn out, I plan on switching to this plan. That'll ensure that I can at least read my 5 books plus give me a few extra for some fictional reading.  I think this is a great gift idea for people who are busy all the time like myself that would like to read more.  

I hope everyone enjoys their holiday season.  I'll be home for Christmas and I'm hoping I'll be able to stay home until after New Year's but I'm not sure that's going to be possible.

The "Gay Agenda"

Well, twitter has some interesting people crawling around on it.  I basically only follow Pornstars and webcam models on twitter.  I only follow the ones who actually interact with people, so no it's not just about their pictures.  I also follow pretty much anyone related to Howard Stern or who ends up on his show. Then there are the Atheists.  They're probably my favorite group to follow on twitter because they typically engage people in debates.  More specifically, the religious fanatics. Which brings me to my topic. The "Gay Agenda"

I've noticed there seems to be concept on twitter that I'd never heard of until I found twitter.  That'd be this supposed "Gay Agenda."  This concept is usually touted by religious fanatics and Christians.  These are a group  of people who are supposed to love everyone but typically I find they're full of hatred.  I had a little bit of a debate last night with one.  I will state he seems not to fit the Christian mold I Just mentioned.  Well not the part about hatred.  He does however think that gays have an agenda.  

I questioned him on what this agenda was and his response was  "To answer your question, its to make homosexuality completely socially acceptable and to persecute those who stand with God."

I completely disagree that the homosexual community has any agenda of any sort, save trying to gain equality in society.  Just as any other civil rights movement.  Blacks, Women, etc.  They want the same rights everyone else has.  They want to be treated as human beings.  I find nothing wrong with this.  People deserve the right to live their life how they see fit without persecution from anyone else so long as it does not directly interfere anyone else's ability to their basic rights. Homosexuality does not stop anyone from doing anything. 

Gay people are also not full of hatred nor do they wish to persecute anyone.  The concept that they'd persecute anyone is a bit hypocritical anyhow because they're often times persecuted for their lifestyle.  That'd be like blacks hating gays. Which there are plenty of those. Most of them I've encountered could care less about people who "stand with God."  I find no fault in their wanting people to accept them.  This is not an agenda.  

The matter of their right to get married is a very simple one in my opinion.  It should be allowed.  Here's the logic behind that statement.  We founded this country based on the fact that religion and government were not to be mixed.  I do not feel that any law should be made that has it's roots in religion.  The concept that marriage is an institution that should only be between a man and a women is based on a religious value.  Everyone I've heard who oppose same-sex marriage cites the Bible.  Therefore, a law that prohibits such a concept is a religious law.  The Constitution is pretty clear this should not take place.  Therefore, any law that prohibits such an act is unconstitutional.    

The issue of gays being allowed to get married is not a morality issue and the sanctity of marriage claim is also a joke with the extremely high divorce rates in this country.  The issue is a matter of civil rights.  Denying same-sex couples the right to get married would be the same as denying blacks, Muslims or any other group of people the right to marry based on their religion or lifestyle choices.  They should be allowed the same benefits heterosexual couples are given when they get married.  

I don't know if everyone on twitter who speaks about the "Gay Agenda" mean what this person I spoke with last night meant, but you'll never get me to agree that they have any kind of agenda.  The use of the word agenda, in the context I've seen it most often, means that someone is up to no good. The desire to have the same rights as everyone else in this country is not bad.  

Our country was founded by a group of people who fled a government forcing religious values on them.  We're now trying to enact the exact same type of government on ourselves.  I think they would be ashamed of what we've allowed this country to become. 

I will admit, however, that this was the first open-minded person I've spoken with on twitter about a topic that conceded I might have a point about something.  They even said they'd go read up on what I said.  This was a refreshing change from the closed-minded bigots I typically come across.  

I don't really feel like I conveyed my point as well as I did last night but I was just not in the mood nor did I have the energy to make it a blog last night.  This is more of a readers digest version of the conversation last night, if you'd like to see the full thing, follow me on twitter.  

To abort or not to abort, that is the question

OK, so it's been awhile since I've felt compelled to blog.  Well, not really but the other compulsions are not something I feel the world needs to know about my life, as it's between me and another person, not the internets (yes I said it wrong on purpose,  I will explain another day).

So I was browsing through my twitter feed while I was eating my dinner and noticed a RT about abortion.  It said, "Not every woman gets pregnant by choice. Figuring out how to handle it is HER choice, not YOURS."  My response, which did not fit into one tweet (limited to 140 characters) was "true, but if she made the CHOICE to have sex she should be ADULT enough to live w that choice. It shouldn't be a form of BC ... now if it's rape or something like that, then yes it should be a choice."

This started a firestorm of hell on my twitter.  It's been awhile since I've had such a debate, so it was entertaining and engaging.  However, due to the limited capacity to properly convey my thoughts on the matter, which simply cannot be done in 140 characters, people began to respond to bits and pieces.  Often times during this debate, picking out what they wanted to read and not my thought as a whole.

So, I've decided to put it in a blog.  I've been wanting to blog for awhile because, well I like it.  The topic that's been on my mind is private so it will likely never see its way to an internet blog.  This topic is worthy enough of my time however.

So, here goes.

I believe in personal responsibility and owning the consequences of your actions.  This includes, most importantly, sex.  I also believe that no one has the right to tell another person what they can and cannot do when it comes to both sex and abortion.  I am a pro-choice kind of person.  As much as I don't like the fact that a man does not have a say in the matter of abortion of his own unborn child, the argument that it is the woman's body not the man's is valid.  However, there is a huge emotional toll on a man if he wanted to have said child in his life.  There is also a lifelong toll on a woman, I know from personal experience.  The person I'm speaking of is not around any longer for me to ask if they care if I share who they are, so I will not tell you how I know this directly. But, let's forego my opinion that a man should have some say in whether or not he is allowed to be a father for the moment.  That's a whole other topic.  One that I completely see the side of "it's the woman's body."  I'm just saying, it's a man's emotions, and yes some of us have them.

Either way, I'm getting off topic.  So, the whole point of this debate was that I was not allowed to tell a woman whether or not she could or could not have an abortion.  I agree.  I also agree that the government should protect their decision in Roe v Wade.  However, this does not mean that I think abortions should be had willy nilly with no care in the world.

At some point in the debate, it was brought up that a particular tweeters friend was married, with kids already, on birth control and aged 41.  From what I gathered, and I'm sure I'll get blasted if I misunderstood, this person is having to consider or has already decided to have an abortion.  The reason, the pregnancy threatens their life.  For this reason, I am supportive of the decision and thankful they have the right to make said decision.

Another situation was brought up that a woman became pregnant as a result of a rape.  For this reason, I also agree an abortion is a valid option and I would support said decision. 

The only, and I do mean only, reason I would not support a person who decided to have an abortion is if they were engaging in unprotected sex without the use of birth control.  Meaning, they're being irresponsible about their life choices.  Going back to my point about personal responsibility, I do not feel it appropriate to just say "eh fuck it, we can abort."  You got pregnant because you made a bad life choice, you should live with said consequences.  Perhaps maybe one mulligan, but learn from that mistake.  I knew a female who was a very sexual woman.  Most people would call her a whore. I would not, despite a "whore" related comment I made in a twitter response.  I'll address that another day also.  Sexual women are no more a whore than a sexual man. There is nothing wrong with this, in my opinion. This woman, in the year and a half I knew of her, had three abortions because she refused to use birth control and said "condoms just feel gross."  This is not a person who makes good life choices.  This is not a person I would support nor associate with in my personal life because of this reason.  Does she have the right to make that decision? Yes.  Should she have that right? Yes. Do I agree with her decision? No. Does that viewpoint mean I think I have control over her body? No. I just don't agree with her choice.

My view point on this is the same as that of religion.  You should have the freedom to follow whichever religion you wish to follow. Do I have to agree with your religious view point? No.  Do I agree with any religious view point? No.  That's a completely different blog all together.

Now, to address one of my attackers. Yes I'm going to call you attackers. Reason being is I was not given proper time to try and communicate my complete thought in multiple 140 character responses.  I was also called a coward because I "do not hold deadbeat dads responsible for their children."  On top of that, a few tweets were in a condescending tone. So, as I see it I was attacked.  I think this was the reason my thought was not conveyed properly either.

First, I'd like to apologize on behalf the of the deadbeat you mentioned.  I feel he is a disgrace to all men.  Any man who does not provide for, love and care for his children is a disgrace if you ask me.  I have three children and regardless of what may happen between me and their mother, I will always be there for my children.  I loathe, with an extreme passion, men who skip out on their children. 

Secondly, I was told I should do something more to hold these kinds of men responsible.  I do all that I know to do, short of becoming a dictator (which can't happen in this country) to make these kinds of men own up.  All I know to do is to vote politicians into office that will make laws strict on these kinds of men and enforce them with the utmost strictness provided by law.  I do not associate with men who are not involved in their children's lives, nor will I ever.  I cannot force them to do anything they do not want to do.  I wish I could.  I am, however, not a law maker nor in a position to enforce the laws that are in place.  If I were, you can rest assured that I would hold these men accountable for their actions. I am not sure how this makes me a coward.

This one man's actions does not mean all men are the same.  I can assure you I am nothing like this man you speak of. As a matter of fact, one of my three children is biologically not mine.  Try and tell me he's not my son and we will have a fight about it though.  I look at him just as equally as his two younger siblings.  His biology does not dictate who's child he is. I will forever be his father, as far as I'm concerned.  Which hits on another point mentioned in this twitter debate, there is more to being a father than donating the sperm to fertilize an egg.

It was mentioned by this same person, in response to a comment I made that a man has no choice in whether a woman keeps his child or not, that a man could wait until marriage to have sex.  This is very true, but the same logic goes for a woman.  My point that a man has no say in whether a woman keeps his child is this.  A woman controls her body, therefore as a man I have no choice if she keeps my child.  My comment was meant for after the fact of the woman becoming pregnant, not preventing a pregnancy.  As a responsible man, if a woman I have sex with becomes pregnant, I will always provide.  That is my responsibility. I have three children of my own.  They are my life.  Without them, I would be lost.  I do not understand how a man can walk away from such a gift.  I would also be devastated mentally if their mother had decided without me to have an abortion.  It would have been her right, but it would have destroyed me. This is why I think a man should have some opinion about whether or not a woman should be able to have an abortion.  It is not just the physical drain of being pregnant on the woman that abortion effects.  There are mental aspects to both the man and the woman that should be considered.  Ultimately though, all of my "attackers" are correct, it is the woman's choice.  I support that right.  This is also, why in most of my tweets I did not reference the man's role in a woman becoming pregnant.  Ultimately, as you will all agree, we have no say in the matter of abortion, so why make mention of us if we are irrelevant.  What we as men have control over, is how we respond to a woman having our child.   

In response to my whole point that you should not have an abortion if you are not responsible it was suggested that I lobby to make birth control more readily available.  I would support this idea.  I don't know that it is something the government should get involved in, however I think it needs to be more readily available for women who are interested in it. Who's footing the bill for this is also a completely different blog.  I will however respond to the suggestion I lobby for this.  I have three children to support.  I run my own business to do so.  I am also the sole earner in my household.  My time is very limited and when I'm not running my business it is completely consumed by my children and I would have it no other way.  I do not have time to lobby for such causes.  I will however, when I have the funds available, help out this cause.  I will gladly sign my name to a petition supporting this cause.  I will not, however, spend my days with a picket outside capitol hill telling politicians to do so.  I will, on the other hand, make a phone call to tell my representatives I feel they should support this cause.  I will make voting decisions based on a candidates stance on this matter.  My family is more important to me than whether or not someone else has birth control. 

There are other ways to have responsible sex. They are called condoms. If you don't want to have children, use them.  If you are not able to afford condoms and/or birth control, perhaps you should consider the fact you are not in a place in your life to have a child.  Which means you should probably not have sex. I know, that's horrible not having sex.  There are, however, plenty of other ways to get the exact same release you get from sex, without having vaginal intercourse.  Hands, mouths, anal (if it's something you like), toys, etc. None of which produce children.  If you are in this position, that of not being able to take the measures to prevent becoming pregnant, and still decide to have vaginal intercourse, I feel you should be responsible for having a child.  I do not feel that you should just be allowed to have abortion after abortion after abortion just because you are not capable of making smart life choices.  However, on that same coin, these types of people will likely end up on the welfare system and my tax dollars will go towards supporting their children.  I guess it could be a double edged sword really.  This just reinforces my statement you should make responsible life choices.  Welfare is a completely different topic as well, and some people deserve to be on it.  So please, don't twist my words on this either.

After a very winded rant, which I'm sorry for, my point is simply this.  Woman should not be told by anyone that they do not have the right to decide to have a child.  Especially so in cases of rape and life-threatening pregnancies.  If you take the appropriate measures to prevent becoming pregnant, but still do, and feel that you cannot  have, nor want to have  that child, that is your right.  I think a man's feelings on the matter should, at the very least, be considered in your decision but it's your body.  However, I feel that you should not make the choice to abort a child because "condoms feel gross and birth control makes me fat." (as the woman I mentioned earlier stated.)  As was stated on twitter, the decision to have an abortion is not a cookie cutter topic.  There are a myriad of reasons as to why a woman may decide to have one, most are very acceptable and valid.  Just don't expect my support of you as a person if you make that choice because you are just irresponsible.  As to the point about the men in this matter, we should all provide for and be involved in our children's lives.  

Relaxing with the family

Well, it's been a little bit since I've posted.  I've been running pretty hard and getting online to write about my day has seemed way more tedious than it was worth.  I had a hell of a time trying to get home for Valentine's Day weekend, which has now turned into Valentine's Day week! That's the joy of being my own boss, if I don't want to go back to work, I don't have to.

But back to trying to get home.  I picked up a load out of Edwardsville, IL that was loaded way wrong. For being people who load trailers for a living, it surprises me that they mess them up this often. This is a common trend from this particular customer.  After taking the load back to get it reloaded I was out of hours so I went back across the street to our OC. They called me after awhile that my load was ready and I explained that because they had no sense of urgency my hours had ran out and I would have to come get the load in the morning.

So the next morning comes around and I hop over to the customer, inspect the trailer and notice that the tires are separating on the sidewall. This damage was not there the day before, so I'm assuming from the trailer being loaded incorrectly it's caused some problems. Well I figure they took some weight off the load so I should have been good. I shoot over to the OC to get repairs done and one tire turns into three tires after the Tech and I were inspecting the other tires a little closer. Finally after all the tires were done I try to leave and it turns out the service adviser missed the fact that my trailer was too close to it's due date for a new PM.  So I have to backup, swing back to the shop and get that done.

While I was waiting however, I called into Charlotte to see if I could get some delay pay for this load. It was after all delayed because the shipper failed to load the trailer correctly and took their sweet time trying to reload it. I wasn't expecting that much of a delay pay, but some is better than none.  However, after talking it over with my ICR and explaining why I was still in Edwardsville we came to the conclusion that the total delay up to the point that I was in the shop was due to the customer.  So we billed them for the full amount.  Made a nice little addition to the load. Well I go scale the load and guess what... they only took the weight off the nose of the trailer and left the load in the exact same order it was before.  I could deduce this from the fact that my steer tires were still the same weight as were my tandems. The only difference was my drives. I couldn't fix it any more because my tandems were as far to the front as they could be.

Well finally after a day later I'm moving towards SC.  My plan was to get down to the house, spend a day or so with the kids then run over and deliver my load. Then head to pickup my load that would get me home for the weekend. Well I ended up being late for the delivery in SC due to the multiple delays and I didn't even get to spend time with all of the kids. I got to have lunch with Ayden, Zoey and Paula but that was a very short break. Not the amount of time I had wanted.

I get over to the receiver, everything goes off without a problem, I was only about 2 hours late and they didn't seem bothered by this fact, so all was well.  It did however run my hours out getting unloaded so I had to spend the night at the customer.  Thankfully they allowed overnight parking.

I head over to get my next load, with no problems thankfully.  The weight was all good and I was home that night. I made my way to the house, spent the night with the family then got up in the morning and headed an hour down the road to the delivery.  I get there and the guards are not allowed to let me on the property.  Reason being, the building caught fire earlier in the week.  It had burnt before I picked up my load and apparently no one felt it necessary to let anyone who was scheduled to make a delivery at the end of the week that they might not be able to make the delivery.  Thankfully, the guards were advised to just let me drop it in the lower drop lot even though it was supposed to be a live unload.  This solved another problem I was going to have, which is where to drop my empty trailer.  We're not allowed to bring them home unless we want to pay $50 a day past the first 24 hrs unless we have a load booked on us.  I knew I wasn't planning on booking a load until sometime over the weekend and that'd have costed me at least $50.

Well I'm booked on a load now and instead of leaving out on Monday like I was going to initially I decided to go ahead and wait until Tuesday to figure out a load.  Well I get on the load boards last night and nothing really jumps out at me as a good load.  Granted a load is better than no load but it's been six weeks since I was home last and typically in this industry you get one day home for every seven you are out.  So by that rule, I wasn't due to leave until today or tomorrow.  Well there was still nothing that great leaving out so I decided to sort the loads by greatest revenue and found a great load paying a good amount that's light. Pays a lot, weighs not a lot always equals good profits.  So I'm home till the end of the week and depending on how I decide to work it I might not need to leave until Saturday.  I have to make a few calls about the load to see if it can deliver on Monday but I have a feeling it's an early morning only delivery. I'm not 100% I could make it there early Monday morning so if it can't deliver Monday afternoon I'll just have to wait.

In the meantime I'm spending some good quality time with the kids.  My son Ayden amazes me every day with his logic skills and I could sit here all day watching him play and figure things out. My daughter is pretty simple to please. She's to the stage now were she makes baby noises.  My oldest son, I enjoy his company but he's in that stubborn child stage, so it's a little challenging sometimes but I still love being home with all of the kids.

Paula and I went out for Valentine's day without the kids over the weekend, thinking I wouldn't be home yesterday.  We enjoyed ourselves, it's been a long while since we've had that kind of fun.  Many thanks go to the kids grandparents.  I bought her some flowers, chocolates and a bear yesterday.  I think she was a little surprised considering we had gone out over the weekend.

We have a lot of running around to do this week.  I'm not sure I'm doing all of it with Paula, I think I might end up playing babysitter while she does it herself.  She's here all by herself without very much help taking care of the three kids, doing all the running around and trying to keep the house clean.  Which with three kids that's a large chore in and of itself.  So I'm more than glad to give her time to herself while I take care of the kids.  I don't get to see them while I'm gone so even if it is a bit stressful at times I enjoy it more than anything.  Well it's time to get some of the house straightened up.