A lot on my mind

Well, I started off the year very hopeful that things would go better than they had been.  I was optimistic about my goals and excited about the future. Now? Not so much.

A lot has gone on in the last seven months, most of which I will not give a whole lot of details about for now. I've realized a few things that I already knew just never wanted to really accept.  That realization has lead to lower stress levels but it's created a void.  It's not a void I'm a stranger to but it is definitely not one I am a fan of. It's also not really where I was hoping things would have ended up but life doesn't always work out the way we want it to.  However, coming to terms with the situation has dramatically decreased my stress level.  This particular stress is not completely removed from my life, and I won't expect that it will be.  At least not for awhile. 

While I've decreased the amount of stress in my personal life, my professional life seems to have increased the amount of stress I have to deal with.  The truck has been giving me a rash of problems lately and is costing me a significant amount to keep on the road.  I've come very close to just throwing in the towel and giving up on the business a couple times, some of which were compounded by my personal life.  I'm glad I didn't make any rash emotional decisions during those moments.  I've been doing everything I know to make it work, and I'm confident I can.  It's just overly frustrating and tiresome.  I am trying to work out a solution, that I'm hoping will resolve a lot of them but carries a decent amount of risk that it'll either remain the same or increase the problem.  I think if this possible avenue does not work, it may be time to at least temporarily throw the towel in and give it a go at a later time.

I have been thinking a lot about some of the aspirations I've had over the last 6-10 years lately. I've mainly been focusing on one of them in particular. It'll require some motivation and dedication on my part, which I've been seriously lacking in lately, but I think it would definitely  pay off in the long run.  For starters, it'd have me at home nightly.  I have to make a few phone calls and do a bit of research on a few things, once I've got the info I need, I'll share with you the details on it. 

Well, I know this was all very vague, mainly because I just do not want to get into a large amount of detail about anything at the moment, but I'm going to head off to bed.  The most important thing about all of this is I'm learning from every situation and I'm still trying.  I'm very determined and persistent when I chose to be. I think it is the only reason I've made it this far, despite the chips being stacked against me and things just never wanting to go the way I need them to.